Whereas peer relationships can clearly have a positive role in social development, there are certain types of peer orientation that can also be detrimental. There are some teenagers who are extremely orientated to their peers to the extent that they break parents' rules, sacrifice school performance, undermine their talents, and even hide positive areas of their lives in order to maintain their peer relationships (Fuligni et al., 2001). This is the type of peer orientation that parents commonly object to and for good reason. Extremely peer oriented teenagers often feel that they have to stand out and hence seek problem behavior-oriented peer groups such as those that regularly skip class, abuse alcohol, and use drugs (Fuligni et al., 2001). Studies also show that Junior High students who are extremely oriented toward peers tend to display problem behavior and poor school adjustment during Senior High (Fuligni et al., 2001).
For parents who may be concerned about their child's troubled peer relationships or peer orientation, much can be learned from these documented evidences on child social development. Parents must understand that problems such as bullying, deviant behavior, association with problematic peer groups, and the like are often processes that evolve over time and involve an interplay between many early risk and protective factors (Schwartz, et al. 2000, Fuligni et al., 2001). While some of these factors are temperamental in nature (e.g. non-assertiveness, submissiveness), many of them are also parental control related. For instance there is evidence to suggest that maternal over-protectiveness can be a factor in the bullying of submissive and passive victims (Olweus, 1993 in Schwartz et al., 2000). Similarly, excessive parental control during the teenage years can drive adolescents...
On the other hand, a complete lack of parental control or support can also lead adolescents to seek more advice from their peers and thus be more influenced by them rather than their parents (Bonfrenbenner, 1967; Condry and Simon, 1974; and Steinberg, 1987; in Fuligni et al., 2001). Hence, parents must try to exert a developmentally appropriate level of control on their children and learn to adjust their relationship with them to accommodate their child's increasing level of maturity.
Parents should encourage their children to cultivate friendships within peer groups that are achievement oriented, wherever they may be found - in school, a sports or hobby club, church, work, etc. Studies show that association with healthy peer groups such as these are less likely to result in children showing problem behavior and low academic achievements in the latter adolescent years (Fuligni et al., 2001). Parents should also try to promote closeness in the family (e.g. By having meals or doing simple things together). Family cohesion has been shown to buffer the effects on adolescents who may be involved with deviant peers and is hence a protective factor for possible problematic behavior (Fuligni et al., 2001).
This paper has described the many roles that friendships and peer groups can play in a child's social development. The impact of these relationships is especially significant during the volatile teenage years, a critical transitional stage when children have to renegotiate relationships with their parents while at the same time seek acceptance from their peers. Friendships can either make or break a child and the important role of parents lies in giving them…
